My official year of silence came to an end on December 31st. Part of me was relieved that I could speak freely again and part of me was sad that the experiment was over.
I just went back through my posts here and the frequency of them really tells a story behind the posts themselves. In January (when the experiment began), I shared the most posts. I could feel my mind whirling and my energy almost frenetic when I read them now. I was a hummingbird – flitting here and there – in constant motion in my body and also in my thoughts.
As the experiment progressed and I really settled into the silence, my posts about it became less frequent. I felt a shift between sharing about it to simply living it. My last post was in September, where I wrote about how the silence had welcomed me back home to myself.
At that point, I was having a hard time putting into words the profound shifts that I experienced during this journey. I almost felt like a translator who didn’t know the language well enough yet to be able to translate it to others. And so I stopped trying and just experienced the joy and the peace that I was feeling – keeping it to myself until I had the tools to share about it with others.
I’m still in that space, to be completely honest. While I am still the same person that I was when I began the experiment, I feel that I have experienced a rebirth where I am seeing every single part of my life and part of the world through new eyes. It’s such a magical experience, and I am setting aside time to write about it – to allow the words to flow as they come. I’m putting all of these thoughts into a book that I look forward to sharing just as soon as it’s finished.
In the meantime, I’ll continue to settle into this new version of me – the version that I always knew was there but that I had veered so far away from by being busy and running away from myself and putting others’ needs before my own and doing instead of being and going instead of being still. It’s an adjustment coming back into a world of speaking again, and I’m giving myself permission to ease in and not rush it. I trust that I’ll know when the time is right when I will speak freely again. But one thing that I know for sure is that I will never go back to how I was living before this experiment began: frenzied, overwhelmed, unbalanced, on all of the time, pushing myself, and forgetting to listen to my soul and to my body.
For now, I’ll continue to enjoy this space of just soaking up this entire experiment, allowing it to seep into every part of me. And I’m so looking forward to what’s to come. My life will never again be the same because of this silence experiment, and I’m so, so grateful that I listened to my soul and said yes to it.
There truly is so much wisdom for each of us within the silence.
Hugs and love,
P.S. – If you would like to be notified when my book about this experiment comes out, please click here to subscribe. (You’ll receive a free guided meditation, too!)